Not that she wasn’t pretty. Her eyes and lips told a different story. Leaning there against the door frame, smoking a cigarette with her arm over her head. Wide-set doe eyes, and balanced precariously on twig-thin heels. Beaded bracelets slid down her wrist, drawing attention to how delicate her bones were.
“And then, he just turned…dark.” She pulled hard from her cigarette, and released a plume of smoke in her words. “I never saw it coming.”
I shifted my weight to relieve the pressure of the holster against my hip. The page in my notepad was almost full. For someone who had nothing to say, she had plenty. It must’ve been the drugs. I’d have to arrest her. I felt like a criminal.
She slid a foot from one of her shoes and propped it against the wall. Her hair was bleached almost white, and made her red mouth look like a bloodstain in her pale face. Track marks pocked the inside of her left elbow. Which made her right-handed.
I looked at my watch. “Anything else, Mrs…”
“Smith.” The th in the word brought out her slur. “No, that’s it. Can I go now?” Her pupils were pinpoint, tiny holes of nothingness.
I shook my head. “I’m afraid not.” I expected her to cry, but there were no tears, only indifference. Maybe she was too high to care.
Crime Scene came in, interrupting us. “We need to take the body.” Nice boys. Stevo and Kieran.
I felt sorry for the clean-up crew. They’d need a mop to pick up what was left of him. Prime suspect was the understatement of the year. She must’ve showered and gotten dressed before making the call. A chill snaked down my spine.
Her smile was coy, but her stare was icy. “Karma’s a bitch.”
18 comments:
Hard boiled woman, hard boiled writing. Love it!
marc nash
Very noir! I like it.
This is a great picture of a cool and dangerous woman.
Hehe, evul, evul...just bearing in mind that if she was on smack, her pupils would be pinned, not dilated.
Thank you Nerine, I must've slipped a gear. I think I was thinking about dead things again. lol
Fascinating and chilling. I'd love to see more of Karma Smith. Great job, Carrie.
I was thinking small town meth addict until the track marks were mentioned. This is a great portrait of a character straight out of old school noir.
Her stare isn't the only thing icy about this woman. Nice one.
Carrie you're honing in like a razor. Not spare meat and as tight as it comes.
Oooh chilling stuff. But a sick part of me wants to know what she did to him...
The last line is a winner. Brilliant.
Adam B @revhappiness
I'm a heartless guy sometimes, so I wasn't chilled so much as I was interested by what was going on. Some of the best use of en medias res tone, particularly in those first three paragraphs. It's a little smoky and pulpy in just the right ways.
It's as if you flashed a light on for a second and I was given a glimpse of this scene which you have written carefully and with not a word wasted. Chilling.
Ooh, that sent a real chill up my spine Carrie - outstanding story!
Loved this. Great imagery.
Oh I love how you are always good for a fantastic read. You never disappoint.
Excellent read, Carrie. Fantastic descriptions as always, showing us how are cool she was without ever stating it.
They'd need a mop? EEEk. She juiced him...
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